This is the third time I am trying to start AND finish this post so bear with, if it sounds a bit off, as I am not 100% sure that I know what I want to say but here we go.
Social media - the devil.
Since one is not famous (or good) enough and as a result not exhibited in the galleries, the majority of my audience comes from social media and from the "business" perspective it is quite easy to put too much focus into it and end up feeling guilty when no post has been shared over a few days. I am a big fan of stories as I can quickly show the "dedicated" that I am either busy with the other brush (redecorating at the moment) or being alive and (mostly) well enjoying the great outdoors (quite often snapping some shots to add to the collection) so that is Insta's way of allowing me not to feel that guilty about the lack of substantial posts or reels (seems that those are performing way better) but sometimes, it is not enough.
And it is really weird.
It is weird because a lot of creative process or inspiration comes/happens to us in those times when we do something else, something not related/worth sharing. It is the small moments of every day that allow us to work towards the bigger, celebration-worthy moments and despite the fact that I understand it, I still feel guilty if I don't post anything. Like if I am not posting, I don't exist.
A few moons ago, I managed to get relatively well-known on X (formerly Twitter) in the NFT space under my HA14ASA monicker and because this was my first proper business/marketing experience with social media within that specific environment I just got used to constantly showing up to prove that you are not a scammer, rug puller, cult leader etc. NFT space is such a rollercoaster of emotions but to be successful you have to be CONSTANTLY present on then Twitter. Since this was my learning curve it left me with some nasty and toxic habits that I am still trying to get rid of (and I am getting better), so if you don't see many posts on my Instagram - do not worry (if you ever did) but I am doing the right thing for myself, learning how to have a healthy approach.
I am pretty sure, this isn't only my experience as I know that a lot of my social friends have suffered this and then in the end we have been led astray and into burnout. And this is the reason why you won't see me on X (at least for now, when I am "healing" - I do miss some of the brilliant people from that scene though).
I think this is some sort of a weird way of trying to say, that just because I am not posting, it doesn't mean that I have stopped creating or on a more personal note, it is a reassurance to me that I am not letting anyone down.
The last couple of weeks have been full of days that after my daily job, I have been up until late hours (11 PM - at my age, it is like 4 am when I was 21) trying to make sure that the website, designs, files, descriptions, pricing and the rest of it is as perfect as it can be for the big launch and push (for those 216 people that follow me) as I want anyone who appreciate my work or who only just gets to know me, to have a great experience. And because I am who I am, I have taken it a step further and at the same time I am redecorating my flat, to create a gallery-like wall in the office, where I can have all of my paintings hanged for a nice presentation/social media reels or on-demand pre-sale videos.
I used to just try to do everything at once and hey, when we were young everything was doable, but now at the respectful age of 34, I am pacing myself to make sure that I won't get to the "I don't give a flying one anymore, just want it done" and actually enjoying the end result. And if you are a fellow creative, you know how long it can take to find the right paint colour (Graphenstone x Michelle Ogundehin for the win)! So yeah, I am typing this, whilst the website is not properly launched, but I feel like this time with all the hard work in the background should be preserved as a memory to hopefully one day have a reminder of how far one has come (hopefully, as otherwise it will be a constant reminder of the biggest waste of time and effort, lol), and here we are.
To sum up, a bit of advice, don't live your life through social media and don't base your whole life around it (unless this is literally your job, but even then - healthy balance is always important). So don't stress if you have not been regularly posting (I know, I know, the algorithm is a dick), just enjoy the whole journey and the process. It's nice to have it all lovely posted, but it is even better to remember and live in that moment.
With this inspirational note, I shall end (not even sure if I got across what I wanted to say but hey, plenty more chances) and I do hope that whilst you are reading this, the gallery wall has been featured on social media and the window reveals have been painted in lovely Pale Lemon so it always looks like the sun is shining (needing a lot in the Midlands) which will mean that I have completed all the out of social task for the website and art that I wanted.
Thank you for staying with me until the end.
Take care,
M x
PS. AI got stuck again with understanding my message (useless) so enjoy nice grammar but not so easy-to-follow flow!
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